Soliloquy of a Juneberry

Love? Infatuation? Crush?

Hi all,

Thanks for your active participation on this topic. And Miss Juneberry would like to apologise for the delay of this article.

Before Miss Juneberry goes any further, she would like you to test yourself with the following questions to see if you've fallen in romantic love before:

1. You overlook his/her faults or interpret them as "charming"

2. You want to be with him/her every day and night

3. You spend many hours going over just a simple encounter

4. When you feel your love slipping away (or he/she falling for another), you experience heartache

5. When you fall out of love, the stamps on your eyes seem to detach itself by magic


If you've answered yes to most of the questions (which Miss Juneberry thinks is the case)...
CONGRATULATIONS!!

.. you've succumbed to the greatest scam in human history.


According to James Park, a noted commentator of human relationships, the true forms of love includes:


1. Sexual attraction

"We respond to other persons sexually when they trigger our imprinted sex-scripts. These sex-scripts are stories, scenarios, and fantasies that were imprinted into our minds at an early age. We did not choose the nature of our sexual responses. "

2. Mate selection (marriage)

" If we have been looking for a man or woman with whom to spend our lives, we have imagined an ideal Mr. Right or Ms. Right. If someone corresponds with this internal Dream Lover, we might easily 'fall in love' with him or her. And we might be sexually attracted to him or her. But the marriage decision itself is more rational and organized than either romantic love or sexual response.

We can easily 'fall in love' and 'get turned on' by men or women whom we would never consider marrying. Looking for a life-partner involves compatibilities of personalities and purposes, which do not always correspond with our romantic and sexual responses. Marriage is a more practical affair. We need to know whether the potential spouse has any bad habits that would make it difficult to live with him or her."

3. Familiarity (family)

"Good marriages and good long-lasting relationships can have a sense of a loving togetherness not based on the fantasy of romantic love, not based on the imprinted sex-scripts they had before they met, not based on their pre-existing ideas of who would be a good spouse. Being comfortable together is based in reality. From their past experience of being with each other, the partners know they like each other.

The fantasy of romance may be gone. The triggering of their sex-scripts may have been replaced by a special kind of sexuality that they could not have predicted before it actually happened between them. And whatever prior expectations they had for a marriage partner has been replaced by real information about this particular person.

One important part of familiarity is raising children together. Two people who have shared the trials and rewards of parenthood may develop feelings for each other that will never be repeated in any other relationship of their lives."


But what about Romance???

Romantic love

posted by juneberry @ Tuesday, March 01, 2005