Ponder #1
What is love?What is a crush?
What is an infatuation?
When do you cross the threshold?
How do you know?
Miss Juneberry would appreciate it if everyone contributes your take on these questions before she reveals her thoughts.
Disclaimer: Please refrain from reading too much into the questions posed.
(oh yes.. curb yourselves =p)
posted by juneberry @ Friday, February 18, 2005
11 Comments:
THis is posted on behalf of Chu (original comments can be found on the discussion board)
well, i guess it really depends on wat u r looking for.. the kind of feeling u want.. i remembered sth i read from an email, if u want the *butterflies in the stomach* kind of feeling then wait for that n dun settle for the second best.. maybe im just being idealistic..
but from personal exp, settling for sth less is NOT gd.. dun compromise urself to think that love can be nurtured if u dun believe in it..
to some, love at first sight, butterflies etc may just be a crush/infautuation.. but who says it can't be *happily ever after*? haha ok im just a hopeless romantic..
OOooOH.. well said!
Thanx Chu for sharing your views!!
my 2 cents' worth…
Frankly, love is something u just can’t say in words here, however fluent or bombastic you are in English. It should bypass all boundaries. Love is something that is too abstract to describe in words and one that will come naturally to you, whether u are prepared or not. We will know somehow eventually, even for the dullest person haha.
Yes, there are many definitions of love, be it crush, love at 1st sight, sparks fly, infatuation and so on. It is easy to say; I got butterflies in my stomach, HE is the ONE for me etc, you name it. But… is tat love? Love aint all talk, it is all action and sincerity. Sometimes a person may be unaware that she/he had fallen in love. He/she will only realize it when he/she do not see them for some time. Just like the saying; absence makes the heart grow fonder. Hahaha how romantic.. *dreamy look*
How many times do you say, in whatever tone, like in a dreamy sort or mesmerizing way, those 3 words? Yes, these 3 supposedly difficult words which every romantic yearns to hear. Sometimes a guy may say those 3 words to you easily, and so, we should never take him for real. (Why do you think gals always test their guys??) It isn’t easy to say those 3 sacred words to the one you love, unless you know those come from the bottom of his heart.
How many times do you exclaim: “I will gonna spend my whole life with him/her forever” or “We shall be together, be in death or sickness”? You hear couples swearing in front of the priest their marriage vows, but do they ever keep their vows in good faith? You see couples marrying and divorcing within a short time. Is that love? Excuses such as insufficient time to know each other better etc are ridiculous to a certain extent. Love should be eternal and full of goodness. Of course it is not easy to predict life after marriage. That would be another story! Whatever it is, as long as a couple is blissfully in pure love, then they have found their soul mates.
As to whether it is a crush or a mere infatuation, this is something I am sure everyone will know. The feelings of love and of crush/infatuation are very different. You will just know it, apart from being confused (which is understandable for people at a young age). I guess you can call it puppy love. You just won’t take your crush seriously as in love. There will come a time when you have gotten over the person EASILY and FASTER that you don't ever realise or ever aware of his/her existence. Perhaps it is more apt to say it is a passing phase in your life. Anyway, people who are crushing or being infatuated are usually ones who are attracted to physical looks/attractive physique in the 1st place. Since this is the case, aren’t they being too superficial to say they love that person? (ok, out of point here haha) Love is far nobler than crush or infatuation. (ok, I guess sometimes looks do matter).
You may think I am being very pessimistic and cynical, but it is not so. I am merely stating the reality of life, and the fact is; it is never easy to distinguish love, let alone say the true definition of love. It is even harder to have true love and often, many couples end up being taken on a ride, and in some bad cases, being estranged. If you ever are experiencing true love with your other half, treasure it! It is highly EXCLUSIVE and you belong to a highly fortunate group of people right now! hahaha =D
p/s: do not ever feel put off by me! it all boils down to how you view it.
~~> the ever-realistic-yet-idealistic-at-times Mist
Hi Peops!! Here are your insightful comments:
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bLaCkIcE
i suppose love.. is sth more holistic than crush.... when u love someone.... u want the best for him/her.... ideally u want to be the one to provide happiness .... but willing to let go if u have to....
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chaos
love=the name tat ur grey n white matter recognises is no longer urs but the one u love... crush=u wouldn't mind ganna ramp by a 3 ton truck just to cross the road to confirm the back of a person u just saw is the one that u've been searching high n low for. infatuation=similar to crush but just tat u will hope to keep urself alive so that the other party will be able to spot u among the crowd someday....
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jings
love== it is enduring, of 2 souls being intertwined crush==associated with adolescence for someone who is usually popular n u know u can't be with but juz wanna drool over infatuation==u just think n think n think abt the person non-stop
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Mango
Haha to me, love is as long the other party is happy, you are happy. Crush is hoping that someone will be with you one dae and make you happy. The main difference btw the 2? is how much you expect in return.
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THanks peops!!
woo hoo!! blackice really lurves this topic.. here's his additional comments:
bLaCkIcE
crush.. if when u are attracted to someone.. but dun have a deep understanding of tat person..... u just wanna be with him/her......
LOVE is the most beautiful feeling in the world. love can be betw parent and child, bro n sis, n of cos what has been mentioned here: love in the romantic sense. at our age, perhaps we can still be dreamy when it comes to love. as the theme song for the 1st full-length fairy tale cartoon by disney goes: some day my prince will come...but in reality, yes, some day he may, but he may also never turn up, if you are blind enough not to see someone who is in substance really your prince, but because in form, he's not your ideal of a prince charming, you gave him up looking beyond the endless horizon for the right one, and in doing so, you have lost him, perhaps for ever...
But on a more optimistic note, of cos there is no stopping us from dreaming of our prince charming. Crushes come and go, but if it's true love, you not only think of him, but you hope he is doing fine at all time, and you help him out in your own quiet way without him knowing. THAT is true love. It is better to have loved and been hurt than never to have loved at all. That said, again it is of utmost important that you know in your hearts of hearts that he is the one...do not settle for anything less, lest you regret and the thought that "the grass is always greener on the other side" will always haunt you. For some, there can only be one: the 1st and the last, so loving someone with all certainty may be the only thing :)
HAha, noticed some typos :P (being a "perfectionist", must acknowledge them!)
At all times, and of utmost importance! Hee
wah...seldom see jack so serious one leh...but i guess his comment is true to a certain extent...there are ppl who live till they're 80 years old and still can't explain what is love..
i'll think love is just a term... meaning different things to different ppl...some ppl might see love as making the other party happy....while others may see it as a making oneself happy kind of thing....it really depend on individuals...that's the reason why some ppl said 'love is not about possessing the person...but wishing the person the best in life' and to others this is pure stupidness...ahahah
for me, i wouldn't consider crushes as love...coz for crushes u dun really know the person well...its more of a temporary passing phase thing...for love, its when u truly understand and appreciate the person, when u feel that being with the person simply make your life complete...
below is a comment i posted another friend's blog regarding love and marriage...
"PRACTICALLY speaking, part of me don't believe in everlasting love..at some point in time, the love feeling just diminished...and its more of friendship and companionship and about how strong you are in defending yourself from the outside world temptations and how faithful you are in keeping to your committments...
nevertheless, if staying on in a marriage is all about committment and responsibilities,i rather get a divorce...i don't want any of us to be weigh down by this kind of burden...
saying may be easy...but doing it is difficult...so before u really get yourself into a marriage, its better to think twice...dun let love blind you from the reality of this world...coz marrriage is just another way in keeping ppl together...to tie 2 ppl together with a legal document.....
perhaps cohibiting before marriage is not a bad idea after all? ensure that u really know the person well enuff to spend the rest of your life with him/her...sometimes i feel that divorce is the result of insufficient understanding rather than lack of love...u don't understand the person's way of living and doing things...so in the end u can't stand it and get divorce...after divorce u calm down down and think through it...u realised that u still love that person...and so u get married again? duh...
actually its not a bad thing to still be hopeful in finding everlasting love...coz if u give up hope in finding, u'll nv find it..."
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eh.. lin wien.. why you post and remove??
must be confessing to something right.. then get cold feet... ahahahha
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